


so paint it black (and take it back)

by orphan_account



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Humor, I wrote this in half an hour and I'm not coming back to edit it so you get what you get, hi I'm here to say emo wanda and old man Steve RIGHTS, this is bordering on crack fic I'm gonna be real, this is tiktok's faut I'm sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-13 22:13:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29658066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Steve has the pleasure of accompanying Wanda on a shopping trip.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	so paint it black (and take it back)

**Author's Note:**

> Hi I'm here to spread emo/jewish wanda propaganda. I miss my goth gf. 
> 
> Also, I know she's supposedly born in 1989, but she was originally supposed to be around 18 in age of ultron and I hate retcons so we're sticking with that age. 
> 
> Enjoy the culmination of years of brainrot

Wanda waved her hand, the doors at the entrance to the mall opening as she glided through, Steve letting out a sigh as he walked in behind her. 

"C'mon, kid, what have we told you? No powers when you're out and about. The last thing you need is to cause a scene."

Wanda rolled her eyes.

"No, the last thing I need is some club of obnoxious old people trying to control me. I haven't had a problem yet, and I won't now. Pick up the pace, you walk like an 80 year old." 

Wanda weaved through the crowds of people effortlessly, marching off steadily towards her destination, leaving Steve to try his best to follow her. After knocking in to several people ( _everyone really was so rude, nowadays, always pushing and ignoring you_ ), Steve came to a stop beside Wanda, who was standing, arms crossed, outside a very dimly lit store. The music filtering out was...well, it wasn't very good, in Steve's opinion— too loud, and the guitars were so over-the-top, and the "singer" (if they could even be called that) had a weird mix of whining and yelling going on— but Wanda was humming along, so he refrained from making a joke about it, lest she call him an old man again. He looked up at the sign above the doorway.

"So…..Hot Topic, huh? Is this what all's popular with the kids nowadays?" 

Wanda let out a small huff of laughter, the corners of her mouth twitching up into a smirk.

"Sure, something like that. Now come on, let's go inside already, if you're done just standing there." 

Wanda turned on her heel and walked in, immediately drawn to a display of rings and jewelry. Steve looked around the store; it was very dark, but he saw what looked to be t-shirts with the name of bands on them, jewelry, fingerless gloves ( _what was the point of them?,_ he wondered. _They didn't serve any functional purpose_ ), some jackets, lots of very dark makeup and nail polish, and some other knick-knacks. Unsure of what to do, Steve stood what he deemed a safe distance from Wanda and watched her as she tried on the rings and some necklaces, careful not to disrupt the tags and packaging on them.

"You know, I can feel you hovering," she said without turning to look at him. "Go find something to do. See if you can find a Funko Pop of you or your friends. I'm a big girl, I can handle myself, I promise." 

"Oh, I didn't mean to- sure thing," said Steve, awkwardly walking off to a display of t-shirts where he could still keep an eye on Wanda and looking at the designs. 

"Huh, Pierce the Veil? I didn't think kids nowadays like Christianity much. Especially the edgy kind of kids," he murmured. There were bands apparently called My Chemical Romance, Fall Out Boy, Panic! at the Disco, and Bring Me The Horizon that popped up quite a few times. He made mental note to research them in the future; being up-to-date was always important. 

Glancing around the store and spotting Wanda enthralled by what appeared to be a corset ( _fashion nowadays made_ no _sense_ ) he meandered over to the wall of plastic toys with square heads and dot eyes. The box said Funko Pop, which meant that they must have been those things Wanda had told him to look at. There was a great deal of fictional characters from a variety of shows, most that he had never heard of, but he quickly found a shelf that was full of little toys of himself and the rest of the Avengers. He chuckled to himself and picked up one of each of his teammates; he knew everyone hated the toys, comic books, and merchandise of themselves, so he was going to put them all around the tower. 

"Hey, Wanda," he called loudly, trying to be heard over the stupid music, "I found those Funky Pops of us!" 

Wanda didn't reply, too engrossed in her conversation with some other young person who had started talking to her in front of the spinning cases that were locked up. Steve sighed— _Honestly, kids these days, no respect for their elders_ — and made his way over to them. 

The person Wanda was talking to had bright blue hair, so much eyeliner that Steve absentmindedly wondered if they had used the entire pencil, and more metal in their face than he had ever seen before. They had both of their nostrils pierced, a piercing in the middle of their nose, like a bull, a piercing in between their eyes that made him since just thinking about it, one on either side of their bottom lip, and too many to count on their ears, which he noted had been stretched where a normal piercing would be. 

"Uh, hello there," he said, awkwardly interrupting their conversation.

Wanda turned to look, visibly annoyed. 

"Hello, Steve. What do you want?"

"Oh, I was just gonna say that I found the Funky Pops you mentioned," he said, trying very, very hard not to stare at the person Wanda was talking to.

"Good for you. I was in the middle of a conversation with Neelix here before you decided to interrupt," she said.

The person, apparently named Neelix ( _parents nowadays were insane,_ he thought), let out a small laugh.

"This your dad?", they asked. 

"Absolutely not," said Wanda.

"No Ma'am...Sir?," said Steve.

"He's, a….coworker, I guess," she said after some deliberation. "He's just here to keep an eye on me." 

"Cool," said Neelix. "Well, hey, if you ever want to know more about piercings, stop by again sometime! I'm here every Tuesday and Friday." 

"Thank you," said Wanda, smiling and turning back to the eyeliner and dark nail polishes she had been looking at. 

"You were asking about piercings?", asked Steve.

"Yes. Why do you sound so confused about it?", came Wanda's reply.

"Do you want to do that to your face? I mean, it's your choice and all, and I can't stop you, but you're such a pretty young lady, and I don't want you to ruin that. I mean, I get that it's cool and all, apparently, but—"

"Jesus Christ," muttered Wanda, setting down the pack of gloves she had been holding harshly and turning to properly face Steve. "I understand that you're prehistoric, but calm down. You are not my father, and I am an adult, and if I want to get piercings I will. And for the record, no, I'm not going to, I was just curious about the experience. Please leave me alone. Find something else to do. Stand outside if you want, but stop bothering me." 

She turned away, huffing, and gathered up the items she had been carrying. Steve sheepishly made his way to the register and paid for the figures, and then walked towards the front of the store, hovering around the entrance and distracting himself by looking at the necklaces Wanda had looked at when they first walked in. There was a myriad of charms on them: those band logos from earlier again, roses, knives, crystals, spikes, lots of skulls, and— _Oh sweet baby Jesus_. There was a rack of pentagram necklaces. Wanda chose that moment to walk up, bags in hand.

"Are you okay? You look like you've seen a ghost."

"Wanda," hissed Steve, so as to not be overheard by the other customers, "there's a pentagram here!" 

".....And?", said Wanda, unbothered.

"And that's Satanic! It's devil-worshipper stuff! It means that you, like, kill babies and drink their blood!" 

Wanda rolled her eyes.

"No, Steve, it doesn't. Also, for the record, I'm jewish. I don't believe in the devil. And even if he did exist, which he does not, I think I could give him a run for his money." 

Steve floundered for a moment, before dragging his hands over his face, sighing, and running his hands through his hair. 

"Fine, whatever. Can we please leave now?" he asked, quite nearly begging.

"Sure. I'm taking you to Spencer's now, though," she said, trying to hold back a mischievous smirk. 

"Alright! Tony keeps saying I should stop by there. He said I would really like the back of the store. Very family friendly, he said." 

Wanda let out a snort and giggled as they walked off down the path together.

**Author's Note:**

> Steve is probably so out of character and I'm sorry but I haven't watched a movie with him in it for years and I really don't care about him enough to do it again I'm sorry
> 
> If you liked this and you like legend of korra or dirk gently's holistic detective agency, please check out my other works! 
> 
> You can find me on tumblr at @himbozone and on tiktok at @thatgreengent1emanhooe you enjoyed!!


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